There's nothing Gen Z loves more than a good '90s and early 2000s nostalgia trip, and now, with the U.S. government possibly banning TikTok, things are about to get real. Mom jeans and crop tops have made comebacks, so why not use the social media platforms of yesteryear? Gen Z, get ready to dig deep! If anyone can raise these sites from the dead, it's you! After all, necessity is the mother of invention. Get ready to say goodbye to TikTok and hello to Friendster and MySpace!
MySpace
If you think X (formerly known as Twitter) perfected the spirit of echo chamber-induced tribalism, MySpace invented it. The entire layout of a MySpace was a version of your first college dorm room bulletin board in all its HTML glory! It was a platform that enabled and encouraged you to put your friends in a numbered hierarchical structure, which amounted to hours of fun! Friendships were ruined over position on someone's top 5 friends. Yes, the platform would show the 5 most important people in your life at the time. It was an amazing ego trip, and who doesn't need that every once in a while? If your friend ruffled your feathers because they forgot to Venmo you for that coffee and banana bread at Starbucks, Boom! With the click of your mouse,* they got demoted!
*A mouse was a device that allowed you to scroll through your screen. Think of it as a movable trackpad.
Friendster
This platform came out a year before MySpace and was a bit different, and by "different," we mean worse. It was basically crafted around the "six degrees of separation" concept. Once you set up your profile, the algorithm would recommend friends of friends that you could ask to connect to. Think of it as the digital version of "Hey my friend over there thinks you're hot." But the platform's stand-out feature was, without a doubt, the testimonials! That's right — your friends could literally vouch for your personality on your profile. If you thought getting a like on TikTok was dopamine-inducing, try having someone you occasionally hang with write a soliloquy about the content of your character.
Ok, Gen Z, hear us out on this one. We know Facebook isn't the sexiest of platforms, but instead of having a Chinese-backed company scrape and weaponize your data in an attempt to circumvent democracy, let a good old-fashioned American one do the same thing! An added bonus is that your grandparents are on Facebook, so it would be a more accessible way for them to tell you how much more successful your cousins are than you. Now we know that you, Tikers? Tokers? Whatever you TikTok enthusiasts like to be called, are crazy about video posts. But don't worry; Facebook has you covered! There's no Duet function, interactive polls, or Q&A, and you can't stitch videos together. But listen, beggars can't be choosers. Facebook has some form of video, and isn't that what matters?
Google+
If Facebook is too exciting for you, then its boring cousin, Google+, might be more your speed. Sprinkle in all the usual trappings of a cold, mechanistic technocracy, and you have Google+. The platform has all of the uninspired visual appeal of Reddit but with none of the emotionally scarring banter. However, the best part of Google+ is that it makes you want to spend less time on social media and genuinely try to make real friends.
So there you have it — a quick guide to familiarize yourselves with social platforms whose time has come again. It may seem scary, but TikTok might be as good as gone. So get ready to swipe, tap and scroll your way into a new digital dawn — or just move to Canada.
