*By Chloe Aiello* Stress and the pressure of perfection all too often get in the way of achieving goals ー or at this time of year, resolutions. But rethinking stress, "trusting the process," and practicing gratitude are some simple ways to make serious strides, according to Monica Berg, author of "Fear is Not an Option" and chief communications officer for the Kabbalah Centre. About 80 percent of resolutions made for the New Year fail by the second week of February, [U.S. News reported in 2015](https://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/eat-run/articles/2015-12-29/why-80-percent-of-new-years-resolutions-fail). The reason so many fail is because the goals and resolutions made often "aren't really on the mark," Berg told Cheddar on Wednesday. "Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want to eat healthier? What is behind the goal you've set for yourself? There's something underlying and I think that's really the more immediate thing that needs addressing," she said. "There's something far more important that needs addressing that is harder to do, which is why we don't do it. We avoid the difficult things." But if goal-setters are willing to dig deeper, anything is achievable from a place of self-care, Berg said. And hand-in-hand with self-care comes gratitude. It's a buzzy concept, but Berg said stopping to congratulate yourself for previous accomplishments can provide motivation for the next wave of them. Lastly, eliminate stress, which might actually be easier than it sounds. Berg acknowledged that life is stressful, but she said she no longer uses the word "stress," as it is synonymous with "fear." "Stress is when you are not sure of the outcome. You have an idea how you want things to go, you know how it should end up, exactly how it should be. But when it doesn't turn out that way, you get upset, you get stressed out, you get anxious," she said. Instead of focusing on that perfect outcome and inviting stress into your life, instead focus on the journey to get there, Berg said. And try replacing "stressed" with something else, like "excited." "If you decide that you put energy and time into the things you love, then there is nothing to get stressed about," she said. For full interview [click here](https://cheddar.com/videos/embracing-change-and-stressing-less-in-2019).
